The Swimming Mongrels

Roxy wanted to write this one. She said I look funny when I swim. I told her I am like a TireFeet. (Bones corrected me: apparently it's "triathlete.") Anyway, we went swimming for the first time ever. It's like flying in the back of a truck, only you're covered by a blanket that you can't eat. It's like the ocean only it doesn't move. You can drink it. It tasted like frogs and fish poop. A bunch of it went up my nose so I had to rub my face in the dirt like I was charming snakes.

Roxy just bit my ankles. She would like it to be her turn now.

It was 110 degrees. The wind hit our nostrils like exhaust. We utilized our Shadefinder capabilities, lingering under trees or shrubs, then quickly skittering across the ridiculously hot wasteland to the next spot.
The first pond felt so good on my belly I thought I would involuntarily pee. Cash dipped his stupid long tongue and drank all dainty like he does. Then we started on the next batch of heat.
The next pool looked good to me, but dad didn't want to be next to the people. We kept going. There was another pond. It was covered in green goopy things that I wanted to eat. The mud felt lunchbox on my feet. (Dad said it's "luxurious.")
Megan looked hot. I licked the sweat off her calf but that didn't help. I want to eat her calf.
There was more heat. It made my eyes feel like cooked olives. There was a long time with no water. Finally we made it to a big pool. The breeze still felt like getting cooked in an oven. I don't know what that's like, but Megan's kitty Solomon likes to crawl into the refrigerator—he says the oven is the opposite.
Megan slinked into the water. It sounded like it felt good on her belly. She kept trying to take Cash in deeper than his paws could touch. Water is weird. It's squishy like a deliciously dead animal I want to roll in, but it doesn't end. Megan finally got Cash to go in. He started flying. Only his head was above water.
I had to get him.
I figured if I jumped really far I could make it to the other side without flying through the squishy animal. Dad says it's called swimming. It's weird. You can't get on top of it. You run as fast as you can without touching anything.
Cash is fast.
I went back with Dad and Megan yesterday. We went to the first big pool. There weren't a lot of people, but one lady had a daughter. She got mad at a guy who had "a mouth on him." His friend said he "had a pretty mouth." I don't know. His mouth looked the same.
Dad and Megan left me on one side of the pool and called me over. I tracked them from land, then they started swimming back. Eventually I jumped in, but it was way too far. I had to fly. It took a long time. It felt good, but I don't know. Cash wasn't there to chase.
When we left we saw a rattlesnake, a deer, turkeys, and the same old lady who doesn't recognize me every time. I will make her recognize me next time.
It's still my turn. Hm.