Every Dog Needs A Human

I have several.

It's all happening so fast. Things have changed. I know it.

Deb and Bones have something different going on. I hope it's not because of my problem, my infection.

My nemesis.

This insidious fungus that is eating my brain. Boy I wish I could do a humungous farmer sneeze and blow these organisms out of my nose and then light them on fire and kill them.

There is sadness—anxiousness—lots of love for me and the knowledge that tomorrow we go to the doctor and find out if I can be operated on.

Yes I am between a rock and a hard place. The decease (uh-oh: Freudian slip? disease, I meant) is killing me but the hope is it has not eaten too much of my bone and they can open me up and scrape my head.

Frankendog. FrankenCash.

After a combined effort on all fronts by all my humans equally and with as much love as humans can give enough money has been raised to start the pain. The pain that will  hopefully end this miserable, alien-like snot in my head.

We dogs by the way have the capacity to love like 10. Ten humans that is: think about it.

Our smell is 4000 times better, our hearing puts yours to shame. What's to say we don't have that much more capacity to love?

On that note let me tell you what a badass lover I am. I don't just have one or two humans like most people. I have 5 humans all of which love me so much that we may save my ass.

Of course once more think about it. It takes 5 humans to love me and 1 me to love them back.

I love you guys and all 5 of you know it.

Susan: You touch me mysteriously and I like it. You have been there since the beginning of my second life and if I get my third chance you are not going to believe how jazzed I will be to see you when I wake up from this nightmare.

Megan: You made this happen. You brought me Roxy, you brought me Bones. You did not take no for an answer the first time through this and you do not take no for an answer now.

You are the mast of this ship sailing on bumpy seas. I love you.

Jesse zen master, without you Bones would be a wreck.

It is weird that the puppy would grow up to be the mentor. Perhaps with humans it is thus. Bones is crying right now while I write this. After he talks to you Jesse he seems calmer. I guess you are the compass that helps him find true north.

Dan I know full well what it means to Bones when you call him or text him. He loves it and he loves your puppy. Thank you for loving him and me.

Debra Debra Debra. You took me in I pooped on your floor, I didn't mean to and I never did it again. You didn't care, you didn't get mad.

You and I had formed a bond before the accident so the transition from dog of a friend to loving each other was smoother. Thank you for tending to me when Bones could not he is forever grateful for that. Though once again how lucky were you to get to know Cash the smartest damn dog ever?

Oops. Tooting my own horn again.

Seriously though Deb you are a huge part of my rebirth, I love you. Whatever goes on with you and Bones you are my mom there's no way you get off the hook. I love you forever and remember I can love you two equally.

All you people that helped on my site to raise funds:

Thank you and as I have said I will fight the good fight and if I do this I will come give each of you a slobbery kiss. 

Also I will let you touch my scars.

Hugs from the Valley tonight.

Cash Fargo Bellinger

Don't let the sun go down on me

Cant believe it as you all know from my doggy beg site I have those fungus in my head again. I guess they hang out dormant and rear their little brain eating heads when they want some chow. I watched a zombie movie with Bones and these entities seem similar in agenda. Brains eat yum.

I wish Bones would stop crying at the weirdest times, like now.

This totally sucks I have so much love to give and so many people counting on me.  Meg, Jesse. Susan. Deb, Bones.

Think about JuJu she is like my goat. Race horses often have a goat that hangs with them as a companion. I think it is to calm them down and also the horse knows they can trust this friend implicitly.

.Of course there is Roxy my queen.  Roxy watched the light go out in Allis eyes when it was time for her to go. Meg Jess and Bones were in the room. Roxy said it was heavy. 

I want to live I want to love I want a chance at the things to come.

Energy is shifting in Debs house something is afoot. I do know no matter what happens every one loves me and is pulling for the chance at this brutal operation that will save my life.

So I hate to burden you fine folk but if you can find it in your hearts to donate what ever is comfortable boy would I appreciate it. The link is on Bones Facebook page and I will include it below.

This journey should be just beginning.

When Roxy and I hang out for the day the inevitable end to our activities is meeting Jesse so Roxy can go to her home.

When she leaves in her truck I stand up in my van at the back window and watch her drive off until she gets real small and vanishes. 

Metaphorically  I would hate for Roxy to have to stand up at her window and watch my spirit grow smaller and vanish. 

If or when we pull this off I will track each of you down and do my circle dance of joy. I may have a new scar on my face but you will recognize me, I will be the one spreading joy and love. 

Hugs from the Valley to the ocean. 

Don't let your love grow small and disappear.

Cash Fargo Bellinger       http://www.giveforward.com/friendsforcash